The Encounter...

September 16, 2012: Quezon City, Philippines

I spent the night all by myself for the first time this past Saturday and to be honest I was a bit nervous... not just because I was alone – but because I was alone in a still somewhat unfamiliar place, in a foreign country.  I didn’t feel unsafe – just unsure… and not really of “bad people getting me”, but more of the all too ominous creatures that I had yet to see but knew came out at night.  I knew that if one of them decided to show up now – that I would be left to defend myself and I wasn’t sure if I was brave enough for the task.  

The comfort of having another person with me was now gone.  It was just me and God… and I found myself in that familiar place – totally dependent on Him (He seems to put me there often).  So, I faced the challenge of the night and fell asleep (perhaps only because my body was entirely exhausted) with one headphone in my left ear listening to music and with my right ear empty and alert to any sounds outside or around me.  

Morning came quick and I was happy to find myself still in check.  I did a quick scan of the apartment from my top bunk view… my passing thought in a stream of consciousness “it would be my luck that there would be a spider in here the one day I am alone”; but as I did the floor to ceiling survey everything was clear.  So I jumped down from my bed, flipped on the light and half asleep walked into the bathroom.  

Then, what I now refer to as The Encounter happened… God had been gracious in protecting me for so long from seeing anything like what I was about to face – but in being obedient to a call that would inevitably lead me to places whose climates cultivate giant bugs, I knew it would only be a matter of time before I’d have to stand up to a life-long phobia…

Duct tape replica of the mutant intruder

As, I came back out of the bathroom and opened the door - I saw him.  Just next to our bathroom door, where I stood, was the door to the outside “kitchen” and on that door clung the biggest spider I had EVER seen!  Literally the size of my hand, his legs spanned across the width of the door knob as if he could turn it and walk outside as freely as he entered.  I thought out loud “you have got to be kidding me!  SERIOUSLY!?  This is happening right now!?”    I was terrified and debated locking myself in the bathroom until someone came home that night... but I saw the can of Bygon on the book shelf across the room and thought "YOU CAN DO THIS!”.  Well, actually my first thought was, “if you lock yourself in here and he comes in HERE then you are really trapped with no way out… and surely it isn’t big enough for the two of us in here!”

So, as I made up my mind that I would go for it, God gave me in that moment the agility of a ninja to leap from the bathroom door – over the corner of the table onto a chair - to a bench and onto the top bunk - in less than 3 seconds, all the while grabbing and spraying a solid stream of Bygon and saying "I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME - MY GOD IS BIGGER THAN THIS SPIDER - MY GOD IS BIGGER THAN THIS FEAR!"

I emptied nearly the ENTIRE can on the spider before it stopped moving... and by that time was a (some may say hysterical) mess, as I crouched at the edge of my bed with a can of Bygon aimed in one hand and cell phone in the other - crying to my dad half way across the world about the mutant spider that was holding me hostage on the top bunk of our beds!!!  He of course said all those good dad things like “Lauren, he has probably been there the whole time and you just never saw him” and “Lauren, you are 10x bigger than him – he is more scared of you, than you are of him”.  Beyond that though he spoke wise words of courage in the Lord and prayed for me to conquer my fear.  

After hanging up I was a bit calmer, but still sat on guard for about 15 minutes - watching for the spider to somehow miraculously come back to life, because after watching it seemingly frolic through a shower of chemicals, I was sure he would eventually resurrect again.

My dad was right though… I knew this was just the enemies attempt to bind me in fear… to keep me from going to church that morning and from serving with the beautiful kids in BSM - and I would NOT let him stop me from doing those things.  I would not let him stop me from showing that our God is greater than any fear!!  

So, I slowly moved from the top bunk back down to the bench and bracing myself, peeked under the cupboard where the spider had sought cover.   There I saw his crumpled body.  I cringed and sprayed him one more time… just to be sure he was dead!  Then after a few more minutes of praying, “Ok God, I know you have my back and will give me the strength and courage I need right now…” I stepped onto the floor and started to (quickly) get ready for church.

The entire “event” lasted over an hour and I was now exhausted before the day had even begun; BUT I was victorious in overcoming a fear that I never imagined I would be able to... and even though at that point I was running late, I was still able to get to church in time and God’s name was magnified despite the enemy’s best attempts to stop it.

To many, I know a spider is a small thing in contrast to all that we face in this life, but the truth still remains that THIS is the beauty and power of serving a God who is far greater than anything we encounter here on earth… He truly is bigger than our greatest fears and He gives us the strength we need to face them no matter what they are (even if we sometimes cry like a baby as we do).  I never imagined I would be able to do what I did that morning, because before coming to the Philippines I could hardly LOOK at a picture of a spider like the one I saw that morning without running away or screaming; but having that reaction and that fear contradicted what I believed about the God that I serve.  

In Him we have no fear and because I know the reality of all He is and the weight of the Gospel that He’s given me to share, I knew I could never let any fear hold me back from serving Him.  That Sunday morning He showed me that through Him and His strength, THAT was true.  Nothing could stop me from claiming the strength, courage and truth that there is in Christ - from facing whatever is put in front of me as I seek my life to be a testimony of Gods greatness and faithfulness - and for the sake of the Gospel, overcoming all things and always moving forward.

“But thanks be to God, who always leads us in TRIUMPHAL procession and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of Him!”  2 Corinthians 2:14